More than just an "issue".....

(Here is an email I sent out to many local friends and acquaintances regarding another email or daily thoughts/devos. I get in my inbox. It's also regarding a topic that seems to be hitting home a bit more to many these days, so I thought I'd share it on here as well.....)

"Ok, so I'm reaching from the depths of my heart to express myself on a very recent and common issue we are dealing with....sorry.

Here is a great piece of "Insight" for many to read regarding the issue of suicide that happened to be in my inbox today. This is incredibly fitting to read, as suicide keeps itself proven to be dominant in the Mission Valley. And some research proves it's worse in this area we live in more than others. I have strongly wondered 'why' the past few years as I've been to many suicide funerals, even spoken at one, and helped sort through the aftermath of many situations involving it. As we've recently lost another sweet victim to this problem, I can't help but wonder if there's something in the air here, or something that's quite dominant and that maybe we can help lessen if we take the chance.
I can honestly admit that this topic is so close to my heart because these past few years have been the hardest years of my life, and I have felt the same empty, and hopeless feelings that so many victims I know have felt, but without the same end results.
I guess I don't feel that depression is the result of those who are "lost" or "backsliding" or lack a closeness to God. God is still with you in the desert, but the desert is still the desert. Just because we know He is there with us, doesn't mean that flowers just start growing and water starts springing up from the sand. Christian or not, and as you read the info. below, all types of people are affected and overwhelmed by the feelings of inadequacy or innability to connect with "life."
As I worked in a hospital with so many people at the end of their ropes, living the last days of their lives not exactly how we'd all like to go out, and witnessing so many good, tender, sweet, talented, smart, and adored people decide they've had enough, I think there's an evident problem.
There is a lack of "true" relationship or "genuine body life" as Swindoll quotes at the end of this post. Where's the support of struggle, instead of judgment or the need of "masking" how one is truly feeling? Where's the "listening ears" of those who don't just "pretend" to care, but actually DO care? Why do people feel they have to put on their fake smiles and act as if things are great in their lives, because they feel like failures or can't express how they really feel due to not believing anyone will listen or care? Many don't want to be "drug" down by truly listening to those around them so they avoid what they can. This only leads to shutting people out, or even "down," as well as not dealing with what needs to be dealt with in order to get over this major hurdle. If people can't truly express how they are really feeling, they will never sort through it. We are to stand up for the weak, not make them feel inadequate or worthless! Plus, another major component we forget to be informative about, is that it's "normal" to be weak. EVERYONE is weak at times, and has weaknesses. We are all there....
Dwelling on issues for years and years isn't the answer either, but it's definately ok to be able to say things really stink, when they really do stink. It's ok to be honest and say you're having a bad day when you are really having a bad day. Shoving it all in only leads to "detachment" which in the end many times leads to the end of a life. We cannot judge how one heals or how much time it takes for some to heal either. We freely allow time to elapse or run it's course for those to allow God into their lives, or be "saved" as Christians call it. We know that some may accept God in their dying moments or that it took their whole lives to commit to Christ. But it seems, to me at least, that people aren't allowed as freely to heal from pain, emotionally, spiritually, etc. This is a process many tend to rush, and we all know that some people don't fully recover "physically" or at least as quickly as others if they've been injured in an accident. We allow swelling to go down, or a scar to form, bleeding to stop, or rest to occur. So what about "emotional" accidents? Emotional, physical, mental, social, environmental, etc. are all varying aspects to our health created by God, and they all interconnect or affect each other's health. Really, one is not more important than another. Some people may honestly take years to heal from the loss of a loved one, or even less tragic circumstances or more tragic circumstances. Not everyone is affected the same, nor do we all heal the same.
I can't help but feel that something is wrong. Maybe it's just me, and I know I haven't been myself the past couple years living in P-town. But I hope this insight from Swindoll speaks to you as well, considering this topic seems to be a dominant part of this community."

April 15, 2009
Ultimate Rejection by Charles R. Swindoll

Psalm 147:2-3
A number of years ago, on Valentine's Day, a couple was enjoying a romantic drive along a wooded section near Belle Chasse, Louisiana. Something white, shimmering in the trees, caught their eyes. Their investigation led them to a dead teenager hanging from a limb, a white bedsheet knotted tightly around his neck. A farewell note, laced with despair, was near the trunk of the tree. It was addressed simply to "Mom and Dad."

"I never did develop into a real person and I cannot tolerate the false and empty existence I have created. . . . What frustrated me most in the last year was that I had built no ties to family or friends. There was nothing of lasting worth and value. I led a detached existence. . . . I am a bomb of frustration and should never marry or have children. It is safest to defuse the bomb harmlessly now . . . simply cremate me as John Doe."

Authorities circulated the youth's description and fingerprints to police across the country. He was later buried---unidentified and unclaimed.
Grim and gripping though they are, such scenes and words are not that unusual. Our nervous age seems on trial for its life, and the fuse on the powder keg is becoming shorter by the day! Contrary to popular opinion, people who threaten suicide often mean it. The old myth "those who talk don't jump" is dangerously false. Threats should be taken seriously.
Suicide, the ultimate rejection of one's self, plays no favorites and knows no limit. In my files and memory are unforgettable cases that span the extremes: a successful banker, a disillusioned divorcée, a runaway, the son of a missionary, a mother of three, a wealthy cartoonist, a professional musician, several collegians, a Marine, a retired grandfather, a medical doctor, a middle-aged playboy, a brilliant accountant, a growing number of teens who were in junior and senior high schools. These individuals struggled with feelings of loneliness, worthlessness, insecurity, a lack of hope, intense perfectionism, alienation from meaningful relationships, and a tragic sense of feeling unloved and unlovely.
In all of this darkness, there is one beacon of light. People considering suicide usually want to be rescued. They leave clues that read, "Help me!" They drop hints, consciously or unconsciously, that announce their intentions.
Sensitive, concerned observers ought to be alert to the signals. Here are a few: (1) talk about suicide; (2) a sudden change in personality; (3) deep depression; (4) physical symptoms---sleeplessness, loss of appetite, decreased sexual drive, drastic weight loss, repeated exhaustion; (5) actual attempts; and (6) crisis situations---death of a loved one, failure at school, loss of a job, marital or home problems, and a lengthy or terminal illness.
These, of course, are not "sure signs," but anyone that seems unusually suspicious warrants your time and offer of help. Occasionally, all that is needed is someone to step in and be a friend . . . a listening ear . . . a support to lean on . . . a shelter in the time of storm. That's genuine Body life! That's Romans 15:1 in action:
We who are strong ought to bear the weaknesses of those without strength.
Certainly you should contact your physician or ask advice from your local suicide prevention hotline if you become reasonably concerned. A close friend, a professional counselor, a church officer, or a pastor might also be of valuable assistance. Don't hesitate to seek advice.
The need is urgent . . . and always great. During the time it took you to read this, numbers of people in America attempted to end their lives.

Excerpted from Come Before Winter and Share My Hope, Copyright © 1985, 1994 by Charles R. Swindoll, Inc. All rights reserved worldwide. Used by permission.